My Orange Rhino Challenge has had a few bumps in the road, but in all honesty I think I have been a much better parent since I have started this challenge. If you remember from my original post when I started I said that 30 days was my goal. Well that is still my goal, I have not reached it yet, but I am going to. It has been 17 days of no yelling and loving more! This is the longest I have gone thus far! I know I can do it!
There are days when I think that this challenge is just CRAZY! That I will never make it! But I just try to remember why I have challenged myself. To be a better Mom, a better parent, a better person. A person that I can be proud of and have no regrets at the end of the day. And let me tell you, I feel way better at the end of the day when I do not yell. I can lay my head on my pillow and feel good about how I handled the various situations during the day. And I am sure my family feels better at the end of the day if they have not been yelled at, because, lets face it, no one like to get yelled at, right?
I want to teach my children that there are many more productive and positive ways to deal with different emotions/situations and yelling does not need to be one of the ways. I have noticed that if I can remain calm then my children have a better shot at controlling themselves. My 4yo can be very emotional at times and sometimes has a hard time controlling his emotions. He sometimes is so upset he just can’t stop screaming or crying or acting out uncontrollably, and in the past this has increased my stress level and I reacted negatively, this only made it worse. But now when I keep calm I am showing him a better way to handle the situation and he is better able to calm down quicker so we can talk about whatever it is that is bothering him. I know that kids copy and learn everything their parents do, so I feel I need to be a good example for them to learn from. I am trying to get my kids to talk about their problems instead of yell or hit, so I need to show them how to do that and modelling this behaviour is the best way.
The one thing I find the most difficult is talking with a firm tone of voice and not escalate to yelling. There is a fine line between being firm and losing control, sometimes I find it hard to not cross that line. There have been times when I actually had to think back to the occurrence to reflect on whether I crossed the line or not, and when I am in doubt I ask my hubby what he thinks. Unfortunately, a couple of times, I had to start my challenge over and try again as I see I did cross that line, but some of the time I was able to manage myself and stay safely on the right side of the line and not yell.
I understand that making this change is a long process, and I am learning a lot along the way. Each setback I have had has taught me something different and I have learned from them. I am determined to meet my 30 day challenge and I am prepared to start over as many times as it takes and never give up. It’s worth it.
The Orange Rhino Challenge is doing a “30 Days to Yelling Less Project”. I have signed myself up for it, as I know I could use the help. If you are interested in yelling less and would like to get started this would be a great way to start. Sign up is by Sunday June 2nd, 5pm EST. You can go here to register.